Getting old!

So this is a conversation which me and my grandmom had a few days back, when I came home for a weeks vacation. For people who are not close to me personally, my grandma is the one who took care of me the most as a kid and is any day  one of the persons whom I care for the most. Last day, we were having our usual life update session which is when she something that was deep and profound buried under the banner of a silly joke!....

“Well mone!, last week no! ... you know her..she used to come here...my dear friend...she passed away.... but not to worry..!! she died peacefully... in her sleep! “ 

She smiles faintly….

“And you know what..... she was the last school friend of mine still alive.... those days.... well now that makes me last person standing” She laughs….

Gazes outside, takes a pause and says “So, from now on, all of you need to listen to whatever I say....you get that!!” She giggles for sometime…

There is now an air of grief and I don’t speak anything frankly not knowing what to say… I continue staring at her adorable garden packed with flowers of all kinds!

Probably not wanting to spoil the mood of the conversation, with renewed energy, in the most jolly of ways says: “Kutta....so get me more flowers from the nursery no…please..pretty please!” She laughs out loud. Thats simply coz I cribbed saying the house was full of flower pots :|

I could only but laugh at her statement, never sure if she realized actually that I adored this attitude of hers! What would have gone through her mind or in general the minds of people who get old with time. I have always felt for people at oldage homes and destitutes, but always assumed that old people at home were generally happy and comfortable. Do they keep thinking of the final call, or do they prepare themselves for it, or do they not care about it! Be it any of these, wouldnt situation would be gravely deplorable!

How would life be, when one gets old! I am reminded of the quote that oldage is one's second childhood. After second thoughts, I think its a blemished comparision. Life as it gets old, clearly loses its innocence with time and becomes boringly serious! As you grow older, the things that often brings a smile on your face are the things that you used to do in childhood or sadly, memories of such, where you would rush to park your mind when in solitude. The fact that those days are gone and that never will come back should be one of the greatest grievances in a old human’s life! Its never like childhood or rather no one would want one's childhood as horrifying as this I guess! Adding to that, with age, your dear ones get old!  Ones who gave their everything for you only to see you happy tend to grow weaker with time. And one day, in the most silent of hours they all leave you, leaving behind memories, vague as they are of times spent with you in this world! These demises of your dear ones , indirectly marks your death as well, as with their loss, departs a fraction of your identity!

The cycle!

It now, stuck with a hammer that life simply gets worse with age and your only weapon to fight, is your attitude. You are the only constant in this world and your attitude is the only means to manage the variables!

This poem by wordsworth came to my mind in a swift!