Two Lives, One Soul

Saturday 04/12/2010
I am travelling in my car to my grandfathers home. It had actually been a long time since I had gone there. With a sweet violin composition running behind and with my mind compltely free , I felt all nostalgic. The place where I was heading to was filled with many memories. A lot has happened there.The onam vacations and Christmas vacations the weekend moments all of them just pass through my mind in a jiffy .The signal is green and the music changes . I drive on to reach the house.
Ecstatic and filled with joy I was , to open the door and run in. I still remember those days when I used to break open the door and run into the house only to trip down and get scolded later. I look around to find happiness and fun filled memories lingering in the air. Taking a huge gasp ,sensing loss and passing away of those good old days, I move into the house
My grandparents were all old now. Retired they were from life. They could no more, run behind me and my cousins just as they used to when we were kids. But I could sense the immense joy they had when they saw me. That was enough. One hug and I was the small kid again. I knew they had lots to tell me.
The story of the mango tree behind the house being cut, the story of the old milk booth being shifted, the story of the old shiva temple being renovated and the way things have changed around them . I could sense joy and happiness when they started talking. Who would then want to interrupt and talk about all the trivial Deutsche Bank and the DAAD interns. I would be mad to do that!
My grandfather was a renowned and respected engineer in the railway service. He therefore always finds interest in asking about my course and my academics. “Civil engineering is the best profession. Recession had had its impacts.But now its booming back” he claims .I nod my head . He then goes on to talk on how obedient my dad and his brother was as students. “Your aunt was a fool when it came to academics”. My grandmother who had gone to the kitchen for the usual dosas runs to the front room and cuts into the discussion saying : “ She might have been bad in her studying but she is the only one still calling us everyday” That had a bit of sorrow in itself. My grandfather smiles and replies “She is jobless therefore the phone calls ” He then lays back and looks through the open window outside thinking over a lot of old incidents I guess. He might have been reliving those good old days as a kid, as a student, as a father …and now as a grandfather. Lots of advices on life and tips for my future were offered. With a smile I took them happily. He continued staring outside. I was sure he was taken back to his old days.
I thought he was happy till I found tears running down his eyes. My gradmother comes with the Hot dosas and the chutney.I get it from her and she takes her seat along with my grandpa. The tears disturbed me but their love made me happy.
“He used to sit on my laps and watch the movie. Shivaji ganeshan was his hero! He was a brilliant son, the most adorable one" I was taken aback by the statement. This was the only thing I did nt want to have a discussion on. My grandmother starts weeping.
They had lost their son, my uncle.He had died of Cancer. I could go on talking about my uncle but I am not. That one statement from a loving father summed it up.
I couldn’t console a man who hugs me and tells me that he has lost one of his eyes. Neither could I console a staunch god loving woman who tells me that God is unfair at times. I did not want them to weep .I am sure they would have done that for enough for the past 1 month and my uncle would definitely not have wanted them to do this.! I tried my best to shift the topic and my grandfather suddenly pats me on my back |”Son, what is life if you do not have people to cry for. It’s ok he was taken back because GOD simply wanted him not to live in this treacherous planet. Love your relations son, cause you never know when you’ll never have them to share your love ”. I nod my head in complete acceptance.
The scene changes and my grand mother slowly realizing that I had come to meet them not to listen to their sorrows, takes the plate of dosas up and offers me. The dosas had gone cold .Shes runs back to make new ones.
I go behind her. She was slow but that happiness in making those dosas for her grandchild was overflowing. Respect for the lady that stood for the endless love and maternal care. I went into the kitchen to help her with the cooking. She didn’t want to know about my academics. Food and people around were her concern.”Bad Friendship is the biggest trap in the world. Do not fall for temptations around” . I told her how friends around me were easily into booze and smoke and how I felt it was NOT wrong. Arguments started. I was not justifying the case of my friends but only stating that it was all human. My grandmothers only solace was my stand that I wouldn’t engage myself in any of these until and unless I felt it was alright for me to do so . She drags me into a room with all her efforts. I follow her like the old kid that was upto all the pranks!
She takes me to the Pooja Room.The room that housed many gods. I' ve always felt divine entering that hall. She chants few slogans and I am asked to pray which I do obediently .”I cant ask you to obey me, you are a grown up. You have your own perspectives. But think of us and all those people who love you before indulging yourself into any such malpractices” .I was not surprised .It was expected  I hug her like the same old kid and assures her that I would do that.
I spend a lot of time roaming around many places within the house the backyard, the terrace.Each nook and corner of the place had memories attachéd to it. All those kutti matches we used to play. My cousins around. Those hide and seek games, those “sweet” bruises which you had and somehow managed to escape from being caught by ur parents, the glass panes we broke. Those anthaksharis, hide and seeks, gullycricket .I could actually see those incidents happening around me. For a moment, I was taken back to those good days. It was all as if it was over yesterday.I realize that time has moved very fast.
People want us to grow up and once we get old we always want to be the kid, reliving those golden days. Hours went by and it was time to bid goodbye to the place where I had spent many of the wonderful moments I had in my childhood. Blessings and goodbyes followed. The car was on and the music had changed this time to a song with a faster tempo only asking me to move on in life and to think and believe that I was lucky enough , just like all you guys to have such a wonderful childhood. It might not be soon when I come back to this place but today, Ive relived days which I've always longed for.
In my rear view mirror, I could see them stand together waving their hands at me praying and wishing me the best. Two lives, one soul and a life full of experiences, they stand there personifying love and care.The car takes a left turn and off I was into the world full of new stories to be told. I move on :)

No comments: