Being Happy

Machaa..dey!...Cleared the course..da . Party tonight.

Honey….I’ve got my first pay cheque!.. dinner tonight..?The last wish of a convict satisfied…Met my family for the one last time..Happy I am to die.

I guess everyone has one reason or the other to be happy. Be it, a young child who receives his much desired toy or, an age-old grandpa who sees his long time childhood friend. Age aside, background aside, life aside, everybody wishes to be happy any time.
Its therefore simple alright? Everyone wants to be happy. But coming to thinking of it, do we all try to be happy always?.
For example, imagine a world, where you could just go on playing your favourite sport, watch your favourite TV program and do whatever you felt like. I guess most of wouldn’t be reluctant to live such a life. Reality check: This is actually possible .isn’t it. As in yes, people could go on living this life. But why doesn’t it actually happen.
Money dai!.... Your dad ka dad will pay for me or what? , is the response. Life is unfair in this way that most of the fun comes with cash. So…assume I give you the cash you need…unlimited cash. Think of me as the Zimbabwean govt. a year before, printing dollars and using them as toilet paper. Guarantee me that happiness shall be attained and you shall never be sad.
Hell Yes…Are you crazy..anyone would take this offer. OK so imagine you are given a million billion dollars, what all would you do? Erm..a lot, well I ‘d start off with buying my dream BMW…! I would travel the whole world, bust loads of cash at the casinos enjoy at the pubs!And?...and yeah I would erm uuh erm..do a bit of social service given that I have so much money.. you know…then, I would again buy more stuff and travel more..oh really... and then..?Oh how did I forget..I would buy loads and loads stuff for my family, my girlfriend, who- not.Go on….I..that’s it? No way..i will keep doing this till I get bored. So ultimately monetary fun ends up boring! Even more sad part…this boredom comes very fast.
Now think of this rationally, take the case of a coolie working at the station, I would say the same guy who toils his body out is also as happy as you are. Scale down your dreams and desires and similarities would be striking. The coolie would want to take his family out for a movie some day when he has a good day at work. He would want to lend a few bucks for the unfortunate . He would also want to travel to nearby places. He would also be having all these fun. This pic which I stumbled upon in a documentary speaks volumes.

The way you live or the way you satisfy your needs, the way you prioritise your wants is ultimately what matters. Happiness doesn’t simply come with money.Having lots of money is obviously an advantage for being happy, but is less leveraged and is not a necessary ingredient for being happy.Happiness doesn’t come with busting a lot of cash at luxurious places. Real happiness comes through satisfaction. Boredom is inevitable; it is like a necessary dissipative force in life, like friction. Makes you NOT do lot of stuff but again it is essential isn’t it. The value of an alternative is often realized only when you are bored. Money can’t make one run away from boredom for sure, but your desires/interests/deeds that satisfy you can.I couldn’t agree more with a Philosopher named Epicurus, whose article I happened to browse through on the philosophy of happiness. Well he claims that happiness is a function of friends, your passion and your way of living. He opines that even if one is rich, he need not be happy and he claims even the underprivileged are happy given the way they utilize their time doing activities that amuse them.

Passion or interests actually defines a person and pursuing itself is in fact a painful process given the distractions and responsibilities we have in life. But then, whatever be one’s pressure level or work stress, everyone should carry his interest along with himself and pursue it in his own way possible. A very simple observation is that, most of the renowned, successful people around are people who have made their work their passion. Lionel Messi, AR Rahman, Steve Jobs and the list of inspirational people you have in your list are all people who derive happiness and satisfaction through their work. Therefore success is in fact the time spent happy in a day. The more it is, the more successful you are.
Lifestyle similarly becomes important as one ought to be defining his lifestyle, realizing his limitations. Obviously the coolie can’t thinking of going to casinos but has to find ways to amuse him and the first step is realizing his limitations. Happiness is thus about scaling down your desires, beliefs and luxuries to your level of capability. Similarly, being involved in what you really want to do in life, is way more important than going behind stuff that might appeal to the society. Because again, what you do might not make you rich , but will leave a smile on your face, looking back and that matters a lot, I think!
Socialising is important as well. Spending time with friends and your priorities in life, sharing moments of fame, shame and glory is essential. Priorities matter a ton, cause time in real life is a constraint and optimally spending time with important people in your life is very important. On a related note, making others happy is probably another dimension to the theory. It could be a small deed or a small step from your side. Eventually, if it can make a few faces smile/console a few minds and make them happy, I guess this is best form of satisfaction and therefore the best form of happiness.
Self- analysis or spending a few hours on reliving moments in your past is another way to realize happiness. Memories that are to be cherished have to be revisited. Times that let you down and the way one has recovered and again been happy has to be analysed. For all this, spending a decent amount of time alone, thinking about your past and your roots is essential.
Life is thus an optimization problem with the objective function being to Maximize Happiness and the constraints being your priorities, lifestyle and time. If you are good at OR, solve this and be happy! else these theories should make sense.Ha!
*Having said all this gyan, for I don’t-for-what reason, I feel happy for having written down something that has been going through my mind and I end restating the sad truth :“The art of being happy always:the least specialized!”

Two Lives, One Soul

Saturday 04/12/2010
I am travelling in my car to my grandfathers home. It had actually been a long time since I had gone there. With a sweet violin composition running behind and with my mind compltely free , I felt all nostalgic. The place where I was heading to was filled with many memories. A lot has happened there.The onam vacations and Christmas vacations the weekend moments all of them just pass through my mind in a jiffy .The signal is green and the music changes . I drive on to reach the house.
Ecstatic and filled with joy I was , to open the door and run in. I still remember those days when I used to break open the door and run into the house only to trip down and get scolded later. I look around to find happiness and fun filled memories lingering in the air. Taking a huge gasp ,sensing loss and passing away of those good old days, I move into the house
My grandparents were all old now. Retired they were from life. They could no more, run behind me and my cousins just as they used to when we were kids. But I could sense the immense joy they had when they saw me. That was enough. One hug and I was the small kid again. I knew they had lots to tell me.
The story of the mango tree behind the house being cut, the story of the old milk booth being shifted, the story of the old shiva temple being renovated and the way things have changed around them . I could sense joy and happiness when they started talking. Who would then want to interrupt and talk about all the trivial Deutsche Bank and the DAAD interns. I would be mad to do that!
My grandfather was a renowned and respected engineer in the railway service. He therefore always finds interest in asking about my course and my academics. “Civil engineering is the best profession. Recession had had its impacts.But now its booming back” he claims .I nod my head . He then goes on to talk on how obedient my dad and his brother was as students. “Your aunt was a fool when it came to academics”. My grandmother who had gone to the kitchen for the usual dosas runs to the front room and cuts into the discussion saying : “ She might have been bad in her studying but she is the only one still calling us everyday” That had a bit of sorrow in itself. My grandfather smiles and replies “She is jobless therefore the phone calls ” He then lays back and looks through the open window outside thinking over a lot of old incidents I guess. He might have been reliving those good old days as a kid, as a student, as a father …and now as a grandfather. Lots of advices on life and tips for my future were offered. With a smile I took them happily. He continued staring outside. I was sure he was taken back to his old days.
I thought he was happy till I found tears running down his eyes. My gradmother comes with the Hot dosas and the chutney.I get it from her and she takes her seat along with my grandpa. The tears disturbed me but their love made me happy.
“He used to sit on my laps and watch the movie. Shivaji ganeshan was his hero! He was a brilliant son, the most adorable one" I was taken aback by the statement. This was the only thing I did nt want to have a discussion on. My grandmother starts weeping.
They had lost their son, my uncle.He had died of Cancer. I could go on talking about my uncle but I am not. That one statement from a loving father summed it up.
I couldn’t console a man who hugs me and tells me that he has lost one of his eyes. Neither could I console a staunch god loving woman who tells me that God is unfair at times. I did not want them to weep .I am sure they would have done that for enough for the past 1 month and my uncle would definitely not have wanted them to do this.! I tried my best to shift the topic and my grandfather suddenly pats me on my back |”Son, what is life if you do not have people to cry for. It’s ok he was taken back because GOD simply wanted him not to live in this treacherous planet. Love your relations son, cause you never know when you’ll never have them to share your love ”. I nod my head in complete acceptance.
The scene changes and my grand mother slowly realizing that I had come to meet them not to listen to their sorrows, takes the plate of dosas up and offers me. The dosas had gone cold .Shes runs back to make new ones.
I go behind her. She was slow but that happiness in making those dosas for her grandchild was overflowing. Respect for the lady that stood for the endless love and maternal care. I went into the kitchen to help her with the cooking. She didn’t want to know about my academics. Food and people around were her concern.”Bad Friendship is the biggest trap in the world. Do not fall for temptations around” . I told her how friends around me were easily into booze and smoke and how I felt it was NOT wrong. Arguments started. I was not justifying the case of my friends but only stating that it was all human. My grandmothers only solace was my stand that I wouldn’t engage myself in any of these until and unless I felt it was alright for me to do so . She drags me into a room with all her efforts. I follow her like the old kid that was upto all the pranks!
She takes me to the Pooja Room.The room that housed many gods. I' ve always felt divine entering that hall. She chants few slogans and I am asked to pray which I do obediently .”I cant ask you to obey me, you are a grown up. You have your own perspectives. But think of us and all those people who love you before indulging yourself into any such malpractices” .I was not surprised .It was expected  I hug her like the same old kid and assures her that I would do that.
I spend a lot of time roaming around many places within the house the backyard, the terrace.Each nook and corner of the place had memories attachéd to it. All those kutti matches we used to play. My cousins around. Those hide and seek games, those “sweet” bruises which you had and somehow managed to escape from being caught by ur parents, the glass panes we broke. Those anthaksharis, hide and seeks, gullycricket .I could actually see those incidents happening around me. For a moment, I was taken back to those good days. It was all as if it was over yesterday.I realize that time has moved very fast.
People want us to grow up and once we get old we always want to be the kid, reliving those golden days. Hours went by and it was time to bid goodbye to the place where I had spent many of the wonderful moments I had in my childhood. Blessings and goodbyes followed. The car was on and the music had changed this time to a song with a faster tempo only asking me to move on in life and to think and believe that I was lucky enough , just like all you guys to have such a wonderful childhood. It might not be soon when I come back to this place but today, Ive relived days which I've always longed for.
In my rear view mirror, I could see them stand together waving their hands at me praying and wishing me the best. Two lives, one soul and a life full of experiences, they stand there personifying love and care.The car takes a left turn and off I was into the world full of new stories to be told. I move on :)